Human Sacrifice

Close your eyes and picture yourself in a doctors office. Really envision the whole thing; waiting in the outer room, wearing the gown, getting x-rays and MRI's, waiting for the doctor...and then having him tell you that you have been diagnosed with malignant cancer. It has a 75% chance of recovery, but you may very well die. Try to really get into the emotional mindset that comes with being diagnosed with a terminal illness.

If you do that, there are two questions:

1. How would your life change?

2. Why are waiting for cancer to make those changes?



First I have to state that visualizing my emotions after being told that I have a limited chance of survival is difficult for me. I honestly can't really determine what I would feel at that moment. I would probably think that 75% is a good shot and I would try to push it out of my mind. But for the sake of argument, let's say it's a 10% survival rate. Or even a <1% survival rate.

I would do my second skydive. I would buy a motorcycle. I would sleep a lot less. I would spend a month or two traveling Europe.

I want to make a name for myself. But I don't know how. It seems like everything that I do isn't quite good enough to be great. I believe that to be great requires a huge amount of effort. I don't want to be just a wikipedia article. I want to be the topic of dinner discussions. But why do I care what others think of me?

I want to fulfill the purpose of life. But I don't know what that purpose is. Is it to be perceived as great? Is it to be remembered? Is it to create lasting change in the world? Is it to simply live for pleasure?



Why?