Women

Who the fuck do they think they are? They play with your emotions and then shut you down. Why do we give them the power over ourselves? From this point on, I vow to never again give significant thought to a girl. I will pay only superficial attention to them. Much the same way that I would swat a fly away from my food. The benefit of dealing with girls is outweighed by the cost when the risk of rejection is taken into account. Therefore it is more beneficial to ignore them completely. When you consider that a faithful dog will greet you at your front door everyday with great enthusiasm, and that a woman will very rarely do so, a clear advantage is seen in keeping the pet and not the partner.

There's a commercial that shows a dog tearing apart some drapes in an apartment and a very angry woman trying to stop him. A guy walks in and sees what's going on and immediately the woman says, "That's it! Either I go or the dog goes!"

I would be the guy that says, "Alright, please leave your keys on the kitchen table when you're done packing."